Pie crisis in Christchurch NZ as survivalists take to the hills

Retailer and Supermarket chains all over the Canterbury area are reporting that their stocks of pies have now reached a critical level.

This has been linked to this statement by Lost Recon Militia fuhrer Kyle Chapman

"Run to the hills! The Moari(sic) terrorists are coming!! We must secure an existence for white pastry"

Manager of the Barrington New World [name withheld] said

"As soon as we stock the shelves these unsavoury characters in camouflage outfits, short haircuts and nazi tattoos come and raid the shelves of everything we've got."

In a more serious twist a vehicle similar to pictured below was used in a smash and grab raid late on Wednesday at Couplands Bakery in Christchurch. Large quantities of Family size Mince and Cheese were taken by the offenders. Police are following the trail of crumbs from the purloined pastries.

In other disturbing news there are reports of bakery trucks being held up at paintball gun point at intersections. This patisserie banditry has got so out of hand that a number of urban Christchurch bakeries have resorted to delivering pies and sausage rolls in armoured trucks.

In other news, Heinz/Wattie has stationed armed guards outside their Watties Tomato Sauce warehouse

In a Nudewhite exclusive, thanks to bribing our informants with a tray of custard danish, we have worldwide exclusive footage of the masterminds (sic) of this boulangerie banditry waiting to be served with their ill gotten pastries.